So here it is, the loneliest number. This being my first blog, I thought I'd just delve right into it, and share what's in my head (since nobody ever asks).
First off, I just wanted to say how nice it feels to have a forum to discuss any thoughts I may have at any given time. I can share, and people can respond. It's new to me, and I feel kind of excited about it. Here goes...
So I have a few issues that have been tumbling around in my brain- some for quite awhile, and some for a lesser amount of time, but they are definitely brooding in there, so I just want 'em out!
First, I want to talk about my ex-girl of almost 2 years. I realize 2 years really isn't that long, but it feels substantial.
So her and I had been living together for almost a year and a half. Our lease expired, so rather than renew it we moved into a friends house, temporarily, until we could find a new one. We stayed in an extra bedroom, both of us sharing a twin bed. While I was looking for a new place to live, it seemed every time I had prospects to show her (which was pretty much every day), she shot me down. "The lease is too long." That was usually the response I got.
So anyways over the course of about a month, I began drinking heavily (which subsequently means blacking out a lot), and she just got sick of me. She broke it off (not before asking for ONE MORE), but later found out she cheated on me. SHE told me that she heard that I had cheated, while I never had. I wonder, "Did he tell you that before or after he got into YOUR pants?!" Anyways it's insubstantial, because it was almost a year ago...
Still, after that I feel kind of used up.
Came back home. Now I'm back in the town that I grew up in. I like it here, except that I know so many people, here. A lot of the 'wrong' people, if you know what I mean. Plus I've been bored and drink a lot at times, and while I enjoy being shithoused as much as the next guy, it seems people don't like the 'drunk' me, so I have been jumped 3 times since I moved back. No matter, though; karma'll get 'em.
So this girl that I had been seeing for a few months, and had kind of 'moved-in' with me, just left me. Her explanation was that I hit her. I was intoxicated on the night in question, so my recollection is hazy, but I have managed to collect and compile numerous tales of the night. Basically she slapped me. Numerous times. When I couldn't talk her down from hitting me, I pushed her off. She drunkenly fell, and I took off. Now she left my house the next day, and I don't really blame her, but she's going around claiming the reason that she left was that I hit her. I am of the opinion (as much as I truly am against woman-beating) that one treats others in a way that one would like to be treated oneself. You don't hit somebody without expecting their instincts to tell them to hit back. While I did not intend to knock her over, even, that was instinctually the only way I could think of to make her back up.
Well I don't know if this will help at all, but maybe sharing it will take a load off my mind.
